I survived an Open University Residential School

26 Jul

Top Five Low Points

Lucy Jackson

1) The ice breaker.  Hosted in a box room with concrete walls.  No music.  Warm cider. Stilted chat.  An attempt at a party atmosphere involved four colourful balloons tethered to an overhead projector. A middle-aged man asked me what my favourite porn was.  Socialise much?  Dire.

2) Being fed mashed swede. Twice.  The inevitable fart onslaught as we were herded back to the tiny shared office afterwards was a human rights violation.

3) The sexually-frustrated tutor- her tittering, cleavage-heaving smirky double entendre laden chat made a carry on film seem subtle and sophisticated.

4) The perpetual sinking feeling and light-headedness exactly like the one I used to get before double maths at secondary school.

5) Being mistaken for 5 years older than my actual age.  Hangover + no-makeup= brutal.


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