Looks like a gil next door

27 Jul

Jacq Kelly

To be filed under “intriguing search terms that led to our website”

Dear Searcher

Re: “looks like a gil next door”

Your search term spoke to me. Like the moron searching for the conclusive answer as to “why does women vigina have no filling?” I’m assuming that you made a typo and that you were looking for someone who looked like a “girl” next door. Also, like Matt, I googled your search term to see exactly what I would get.

The first thing that I found was a website listing the “hottest” wives of baseball players, deploying every misogynistic descriptor known to humankind (well, a lot of them anyway) and including the following line about one of the women (I won’t demean her further by naming her in another article containing this sentence):

“The extremely hot gil next door that you’d give your left testicle to sleep with.”

I’m confused. The typo I can live with – I’ve been known to make them myself. But who would he give the testicle to? HER? And why the left? What’s wrong with dinner and a romantic walk along the riverside? As the bearer of zero testicles myself I’ve always favoured approaches that swerve the presentation of gonads in the pursuit of women. I can’t imagine that pushing the gift-wrapped box containing your still fresh left nut across the table, as you perch upon your rubber-ring, is going to lead to anything other than her hasty departure through the bathroom window and a possible court order.

I can only hope that you, our searcher using the term “gil next door” are not the moron who wrote this baseball wives article looking to smile once more at your own dickishness. If you are though, please go away and never darken our blog with your presence again.

For the rest of you though, keep the fun search terms coming! We enjoy laughing at them each week.


2 Responses to “Looks like a gil next door”

  1. Webbo July 27, 2011 at 12:22 pm #

    I believe it is customary, when trying to persuade an extremely good looking woman to sleep with you, to offer to use her shit as toothpaste. Giving up a testicle would clearly have a serious negative effect when it came to completing one’s desired goal in the whole transaction.


  1. Search terms « Dance ricky dance! - July 27, 2011

    […] 2) Looks like the gil next door […]

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