Summer style guide

24 May

Matt Webb

Summer’s here! And you know what that means! You can finally show off your rocking bod. But there’s the right way of doing it and then there’s the wrong way. Here at Dance Ricky Dance, we see it as our duty to prevent people from falling into common summer style traps.

Follow the below advice and make this the BEST SUMMER EVER!

Got toenails?

Me too! But if you’re missing toenails, or if your toenails are bruised, cracked, yellowed or covered in fungus, summer gives you the perfect opportunity to showcase that fact by wearing sandals!  

Travelling on a crowded train?

Sandals are the perfect way to make other passengers think, “What am I smelling? That’s not your usual plain old body odour. Is that…? Am I smelling that guy’s sweaty foot fungus? Is THAT what I’m smelling? OH GOD! IT IS!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!”

Beer belly?

Don’t waste it, fool! Turn that beer gut a vibrant sun-burned cherry red and share it with the world! We want to see it! Who wouldn’t???

Deodorant?

No! You’re a HUNTER, god damn it! Smelling natural is how you stalk your prey! “Well, hello ladies. It seems that you’ve detected my natural musk. And yes, that background note IS my foot rot. What say the two of you come back to my place and we’ll stew on my leather sofa until our combined juices ripen into a cacophony of nature’s olfactory bounty?”

Been to a festival?

Of course you fucking have. Better keep your wrist band on for an indefinite period. You don’t want people to look at you and suspect you of NOT going to a festival! Oh, the horror!

Goth?

I know there are a lot of haters out there who’ll tell you that wearing a black leather trench coat in 25 degree heat is a stupid idea, but stick to your guns guys! There’s such a thing as integrity, and wearing black leather in the summer time is how you get it.

Giant asshole?

Then shorts, loafers and no socks COULD be the look for you!

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